Post by CAMERON JAE CARTER on Dec 14, 2011 0:44:58 GMT -5
CAMERON JACE CARTER
sixteen, sophomore, homosexual, quiet, ashamed, kyle jammeson
[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]hi! my name is cameron, but a majority of people call me cam or cammy, whatever. i'm sixteen years old right now, but i'll be seventeen on february fourteenth. i'm around five feet and one inch tall and one hundred three pounds, i know, kinda short for a grown man, but whatever. i like boys a lot and... that's it.
i've been told that i get really excited really easily. i never really noticed, probably because i'm the person. i have a tendency to over react about almost anything. i'm just a dramatic person i suppose, but i'm good at keeping things to myself. i'm really just a mixed up person. i also get really into the things that i'm excited about and i try to hype people up, almost like a walking flier... except not really. i don't know. i just like being excited about things.
despite the fact that i'm always excited i like to keep it to myself. really, the only people that see that loud side of me are my closest friends and relatives. when i'm out in public i'm mostly a quiet kid unless someone is trying to hurt one of the people that i enjoy the most. i can get pretty defensive and mean when someone is being mean or harassing someone that's close to me. aside from that, though, i usually walk with my head at least semi-down. i don't have a lot of self-confidence and i don't really know how to deal with stress, but i'm learning.
i've also noticed i get embarrassed or flustered really easily. because of this, i tend to blush.. a lot. really, any little thing can make me blush. whether it's a small compliment, or a statement. if you're talking to me and i find you attractive, i'm blushing. if i get in trouble or get reprimanded in a group of people, my face is red. that's how i've been my whole life, and as much as i hate it, i kind of like it. maybe that's just me coming to terms with myself.
i'm unsure as to why, but i submit to just about anything people throw at me. if you're making fun of me, i just listen and stare at the ground, soaking it all up. if you're hitting me, i most likely won't hit you back because that's not the kind of person i am. i let people do what they want, even if they're just playing with me or toying with my emotions. i'm practically a doormat, people walk all over me... and i let them.
throughout everything that has ever happened to me, though, i try to stay on the bright side of things. if i stew over the bad things that seem to surround me, i won't get anywhere in life. if i just look to the things and people i love then maybe one day i'll be truly happy.
my mom died when i was six. she and my younger sister died when she was giving birth to her, so then i just grew up with my dad. i didn't know it at the time, but he was a pretty big dunk... he still it. at this point in time, he's disappointed that i play for the "wrong team", and he's beginning to get violent about it. whatever, i guess it's my own fault for ever coming out.
oh, and just putting this out there, i suffer from dyslexia. i have trouble reading and i got held back in the fifth grade, so i'm a little older than most people in my grade.hey should've tried harder admin! my name is alyssa and i've been doing this stuff for awhile. i also play no other characters. before i go, look at what i can do!
cameron looked at him for a minute, biting his lip. he didn't think that he completely understood what he was talking about. "i know, but i wasn't inferring that you were their bitch. you said it like i thought you were.." he said quietly, shaking his head a little bit to adjust his hair that was getting in his face. he hated when people assumed things that he said or meant when that wasn't the case at all. he didn't think duncan was their bitch or always did everything they did. it was just a general understanding that they normally stuck together on outings like that.
he didn't say anything for a few minutes after that. especially when duncan pretended to throw the ball his way. he just closes his eyes and tensed, flinching at the thought of the ball hitting him in the face, chest, stomach, legs.. anywhere, really. he didn't like to think of the new bruises that would form over the old ones just from seeing the guys earlier that morning. it was never really that pretty of a sight when he was in a fifteen feet radius of them. it was sad, really, and he wished he was bigger, stronger, and able to take care of himself, but that was beyond his reach, seeing as he was only five feet and three inches tall. they were all too big for him to take on seriously.
cameron looked over at him quietly. he relaxed slowly once duncan started throwing the ball up into the air, realizing that he wasn't actually going to throw it at him. he probably would've gone back to his bunk and hid out, had duncan actually thrown the ball at him. it wasn't what he would've enjoyed. now, normally, he would've just run away and gone to his room without sitting down, but he felt like duncan was bearable today. he hadn't hurt him yet, just slapped his butt, but that was just how duncan way. if they were all like this, he could probably live on the bus without wanting to go home, but it, unfortunately, wasn't like that.
cameron looked up at him as he agreed that him going with the boys would've been a bad idea. how could it have been a good idea. they were hurting him before they even left. he couldn't imagine being stuck with them in a hotel room for the entire day. that would be like committing suicide. just thinking about how his day probably would've ended up gave him the shivers. he glanced up at him as he spoke about why he didn't want to do everything with the band. "yeah? you're preaching to the choir." he mumbled, biting his lip. "i don't get privacy unless everyone leaves for the day.. which is rarely ever." he added quietly.
"i just.. i don't see why you guys waste your time hating me when i never really did anything to you. if i wasn't here.. they'd find someone else to hate, to do the exact same thing.." he said, shrugging. "i'm not the only one that ever had to deal with the shit, i'm sure." he said flatly. "they've hurt other people like this before." he murmured, rubbing his shoulders. "i contemplate going home a lot, but it's just as bad with my dad." he said with a shrug. "and my sister hates me, so i can't just join her group.." he said, sighing quietly. "i don't really know what to do anymore." he murmured, closing his eyes and burying his face into his knees. he didn't know why he was telling duncan these things, but he was relaxing and stuff, so he figured it would be okay. "i haven't given you a reason to dislike me at all..." he said with a sigh, biting his lip and looking at him.
he didn't say anything for a few minutes after that. especially when duncan pretended to throw the ball his way. he just closes his eyes and tensed, flinching at the thought of the ball hitting him in the face, chest, stomach, legs.. anywhere, really. he didn't like to think of the new bruises that would form over the old ones just from seeing the guys earlier that morning. it was never really that pretty of a sight when he was in a fifteen feet radius of them. it was sad, really, and he wished he was bigger, stronger, and able to take care of himself, but that was beyond his reach, seeing as he was only five feet and three inches tall. they were all too big for him to take on seriously.
cameron looked over at him quietly. he relaxed slowly once duncan started throwing the ball up into the air, realizing that he wasn't actually going to throw it at him. he probably would've gone back to his bunk and hid out, had duncan actually thrown the ball at him. it wasn't what he would've enjoyed. now, normally, he would've just run away and gone to his room without sitting down, but he felt like duncan was bearable today. he hadn't hurt him yet, just slapped his butt, but that was just how duncan way. if they were all like this, he could probably live on the bus without wanting to go home, but it, unfortunately, wasn't like that.
cameron looked up at him as he agreed that him going with the boys would've been a bad idea. how could it have been a good idea. they were hurting him before they even left. he couldn't imagine being stuck with them in a hotel room for the entire day. that would be like committing suicide. just thinking about how his day probably would've ended up gave him the shivers. he glanced up at him as he spoke about why he didn't want to do everything with the band. "yeah? you're preaching to the choir." he mumbled, biting his lip. "i don't get privacy unless everyone leaves for the day.. which is rarely ever." he added quietly.
"i just.. i don't see why you guys waste your time hating me when i never really did anything to you. if i wasn't here.. they'd find someone else to hate, to do the exact same thing.." he said, shrugging. "i'm not the only one that ever had to deal with the shit, i'm sure." he said flatly. "they've hurt other people like this before." he murmured, rubbing his shoulders. "i contemplate going home a lot, but it's just as bad with my dad." he said with a shrug. "and my sister hates me, so i can't just join her group.." he said, sighing quietly. "i don't really know what to do anymore." he murmured, closing his eyes and burying his face into his knees. he didn't know why he was telling duncan these things, but he was relaxing and stuff, so he figured it would be okay. "i haven't given you a reason to dislike me at all..." he said with a sigh, biting his lip and looking at him.
