you are not alone, jackson

[nathaniel quentin o'keefe]

Nathaniel was now able to breathe. Tommy had been returned and according to Jackson, there were no broken bones or anything; however, there was something else wrong... And Jackson didn't seem to be able to say it out loud. All Nathan knew was that Boobear needed him more than ever right now. Even though Boobear was with Tommyboo, Nathan knew that Boobear needed someone else other than Tommyboo. He could hear the pain in Jackson's voice and there was no way Nathan was sticking around his house when Tommy was finally at home. He had to go see the kid and give him a check over himself, not that he didn't trust Jackson's judgment on whether Tommy was okay. Nathan just wanted to double check and he wanted to see how Jackson was holding up. Nathan had been worried about his bestest friend ever since he'd seen the look in his eyes when he came to Tommy's house and realized he really was gone, and that Nathan hadn't been lying to him.

That dead look had scared Nathaniel Quentin O'Keefe nearly to death and he'd convinced Jackson to keep fighting. He hadn't been able to convince him to be happy about the fight though. Jackson had put everything he had into finding Tommy, and hadn't been eating or sleeping. Nate had lost a little bit of hope of ever seeing Tommy again but he never voiced that to Jackson. It seemed that knowing Tommy was alive was the only thing keeping Jackson alive... So Nathan hadn't voiced his fears. Now that Tommy was back, Nathan wanted to be with him. Nathan wanted to see one of his best friend's that he had thought might never return. He was glad that Tommy had been brought back safely and that Jackson could hold the boy in his arms. Nate couldn't wait to see that happy look in his bestest friend's eyes that he now had his boyfriend back.

Nathan could tell there was something wrong with Jackson just by the way his voice sounded on the phone. Jackson needed someone other than Tommy and Nate was always going to be the first to be there. Nathaniel Quentin O'Keefe was always loyal to his friends, and hands down, they were the most important thing to him. If he had to choose between friends and school, Nate would drop school forever if it meant he could be there for his friends. Hell, Nathan had skipped the last few days of classes searching high and low for Tommy. He'd earned some money through begging, selling, and even stealing. Nate had gotten desperate so he'd stolen from his sisters. He just wanted to bring Tommy back so that his friend was safe and so that his bestest friend would be happy again. Now Nathan had to be there for Boobear because something else was going on and he could tell Jackson needed to break down and have someone tell him it was going to be okay. Nate was sure Jax had been doing it for Tommy for a few hours and Nathaniel had decided that it was Jackson's turn. Nate would be there for Jax.

Nathaniel had been in his lazy clothes all day and he'd been texting Stella while playing his video games. He got up and got dressed, getting ready to head over to Tommy's house, where he knew Jackson would be. He'd also be able to see Tommy safe and sound. Hopefully the kid was awake because Nathan seriously just wanted to give Tommy a big hug and welcome him home. Once Nate was dressed, he got himself a sandwich and ate it on the way to Tommy's. He was only taking it slow because he was starving and he was dreading see Jackson fall apart all over again. He pulled out his new phone, a Samsung Galaxy, and texted Jackson, "I'm on my way over bud. Hang in there. I know something's wrong and you don't have to tell me, but I can tell you need a shoulder to cry on. I'm offering you mine."

[/i] Nathaniel made it to Tommy's house and didn't bother to knock. None of the boys knocked when they were at the Fly household anymore. They just waltzed right in ever since the kidnapping and Nate wasn't going to go back to knocking just 'cause Tommy was home. He walked up the stairs and saw Jax staring at a sleeping Tommy. "Hey Boobear." He whispered so as not to wake Tommy up.


word count ;; 760 !
tagged ;; jackson arthur madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; a little bit of everything !
notes ;; Nate's going to make Jax feel better !
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[jackson arthur madison]

Tommy had been back for almost two days and as much as Jax was happy about that, there were still certain things that he hadn’t allowed himself to deal with just yet. He didn’t want to bring it up or break down when Tommy was near, he knew it would only hurt the boy and Tommy didn’t need any more crap to deal with. Everyone had come to see Tommy, but Jax always stayed nearby, both boys didn’t want to be too far away from one another. The past two days had been just aiding to Tommy’s needs, Jax wasn’t even being himself around his friends, really. He had too much on his plate, or so he felt. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had spent any one on one time with the boys since Tommy went missing. He didn’t mind spending most of his time with Tommy; he liked being there for his boyfriend, especially since nowadays he needed Jax the most.

Jax was starting to feel exhausted, not because of Tommy, but because of everything piling up in his mind that he hadn’t allowed himself to properly deal with. Even when Tommy fell asleep, Jax couldn’t bring himself to break down. He couldn’t do it by himself, he was afraid he’d be too loud and would wake Tommy up. It wasn’t like he could leave Tommy’s side, he didn’t want the nightmares to take advantage of his boyfriend and have Tommy wake up without Jax there beside him. Jax would hate himself if he let that happen, he had promised Tommy that he wouldn’t leave him, ever. Especially now, it was just too soon, to start leaving Tommy alone.

Jackson hadn’t even seen his parents in almost a week, sure, he talked to them on the phone, but that was it really. He wanted to stay with Tommy, at least for now. A lot of people he talked to asked him what was wrong at first, but eventually stopped when Jax wouldn’t give them a proper reply. It was getting harder to pretend that he was genuinely okay, but he was doing his best. Jax had never felt so depressed before, but the fact that Tommy was alive and in his presence, definitely helped. He never showed his sadness around Tommy though, at least not since they first spoke when Tommy came back. He always just kept a grin and assisted Tommy in any way that he needed him to.

Jax lied in bed with Tommy, his arm wrapped around him comfortably as he listened to his boyfriend breathe in his sleep. Jax wasn’t sleepy, nor had he even been able to sleep lately. Sure, his boyfriend was back, but that didn’t mean that his mind wasn’t still running with horrific thoughts. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he kissed Tommy’s arm gently before reaching in his pocket to see where the text came from, it was Nate. He opened it and read it over and over, biting his lip. Nate knew him so well, Nate was his bestest friend and he was the only person that had seen Jax at his worst. Jax couldn’t have asked for a greater friend really, Nate was the best, he closed the message and put his phone back into his pocket. He really did need a shoulder to cry on, even if he wasn’t looking forward to doing it.

Nate was right though, Jax needed to let it out, and soon too, or else Jax would probably lose his mind if he held it all in much longer. He sat up a bit and took his hand back, Tommy still remaining sound asleep. Whenever Tommy moved or made an odd sound, Jax would gently rub the boys arm to calm him and reassure his subconscious mind that he was still there. He sat on the bed just watching Tommy sleep, he was glad to see that Tommy could rest at peace again, if only he could do the same though. He didn’t hear anyone walk inside, mainly because he was too focused on Tommy and the many thoughts in his own mind to really notice. He heard another voice and looked up, seeing Nate standing in Tommy’s room. He looked back at Tommy to make sure he was okay, before he completely left the bed. Tommy’s well being was the most important thing on jax’s to do list right now.

He looked back at Nate again and smiled weakly, just happy to have his bestest friend there finally. He stood up and walked over to Nate, careful not to make any loud or sudden movements that would wake up his sleeping boyfriend. He immediately wrapped his arms around Nate and as soon as he did, he could feel himself just fall into the boy’s arms almost desperately. He dug his face into Nate’s shoulder and couldn’t help but start to shake, after a few seconds, the tears started to stream down his cheeks. It was like he couldn’t even control it anymore, nate just had that affect on him now. After a few minute of crying into Nate’s shirt, probably making it damp like crazy he finally spoke, ”I don’t think I can handle this…” he said still crying, but keeping as quiet as he could so Tommy wouldn’t wake up.

TAGGED: nate
WORDS: 895
NOTES: (:

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[nathaniel quentin o'keefe]

Nate always put his friends before anything else. Usually they came first in his priority list, even above his family. His family knew how to fend for themselves, and most the time, so did his friends. Sometimes though, his friends needed him and he was always first to be there. He was always there, and Nathan O'Keefe always would be there. Friends were important to him and he hated losing any of them. Even now, he was upset that he'd ditched out on Edward Desdemona because that kid was a hoot... But when it came down to it, Brady Richardson was more important to him than Sparky was. Sparky was just a way to get drunk and all that fun stuff. Nate thought that Sparky would just leave the rest of Fate's Eight alone. He never dreamed that Sparky would get Bradybear stuck on drugs. Never in his life did Nate think that would happen.

Nathan also never dreamed or considered Tommy getting abducted. He didn't think that Tommy would ever need an escort and he never though he'd see so much pain in Jackson's eyes. He just couldn't deal with it. He did his best but looking at Jackson in so much pain and not being able to fix it was horrible. Nate was just glad Tommy was back and keeping Jackson going. Something else had happened with Jax though and Nate had seen it the day Tommy had gotten back. He couldn't put his finger on what had happened but he was going to try to help Jax work through it as best as Jax could. Obviously, whatever was bothering Jax wasn't going to go away in a day but Nate could relieve some pressure. He seemed to have that effect on Jax as of recently, which wasn't a bad thing. Nathaniel just wanted to see his bestest friend smiling again... He also wanted to see Tommy smiling again but that could wait until Jax was smiling real smiles.

Nathan quickly decided that Fate's Eight just needed to get out and party. First, Tommy needed to be willing to get out of the house, because from what he'd heard, even Jackson couldn't get him to leave his bedroom. Second, Jackson needed to be smiling and actually like... Not a party pooper anymore. Third, Nate needed to make sure it was a safe party where everybody was about the same age and wouldn't let Tommy get picked up again, not that Tommy would ever leave Jackson's sight. Hell, Tommy probably wouldn't leave any of Fate's Eight's sight. If anything, Tommy would feel overwhelmed by the amount of body guards he had. That was the great thing about being a part of Fate's Eight. You had seven best friends that always had your back and would always protect you from whatever you needed protecting from. Tommy would be safe forever now.

Fate's Eight was the best thing Nate could ever ask for. They were emotional support, physical support, and just support all the way around. They were always there to make you feel better and they were always there when you were falling over drunk. They were fun to be around but they could have a serious moment. They were all very serious when Tommy disappeared. All seven of them had found money of some sort. Nate and Jackson had given up the most to get money, Jackson gave up the very most, but they all buckled down to bring Tommy back. There wasn't much smiling or laughter when Tommy had disappeared. Fate's Eight was the best thing ever, and Nate honestly pitied people who didn't have just as many best friends. Having seven best friends was.... The absolute best. It just couldn't be matched. They were all so different but they all got along so well. They embraced their differences and there wasn't any compromising. They just thought about each other, and that was that.

Though all Nathaniel wanted to do was have fun at this moment in time, he needed to be here for Jackson. He watched as Jackson checked on Tommy, and it made Nate frown. As much as Jax needed to be there for Tommy, Jax needed to be there for Jax too. Nate didn't say anything though. He just watched and waited for Jackson to come for him. He saw the weak smile on his bestest friend's face and he saw the pain in Boobear's eyes. Yeah, he definitely needed Nate here. Nathan wrapped his arms around Boobear and just held him. He felt added weight and hugged tighter. He just held Jax in his arms and let him cry. His shirt was soaked but that was okay. If nothing else, Nate could steal one from Tommy. Mikey did it all the time, Nate could do it too. "What can't you handle? What happened Jax? I know something else happened, I saw a little piece of you just break off. What happened? Tommy's back and he hasn't told me much of what went on, which I assumed is what broke you... So what happened?" Nate whispered so that he didn't wake Tommy.

word count ;; 861 !
tagged ;; jackson arthur madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; stand - rascal flatts !
notes ;; Nate's going to make Jax feel better !

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[jackson arthur madison]

Jackson was always sporting a smile on his face, he was just a happy human being, always had been. Nothing ever really made him mad or sad, not even when his brother went off to college and left. Sure, he was going to miss him, but he was more excited for him to experience college and then come back and give Jax the inside scoop. But nowadays, it was getting hard to smile all the time, he felt as if his spirit had been broken and he was afraid that he wouldn’t get it back together again. The love of his life was taken from him and hurt in ways that Jax could bare to even imagine, he couldn’t believe what Tommy had went through. Of all the people in the world, why him?

Jackson didn’t feel like himself and he knew that it wasn’t going unnoticeable either, but lucky for him, people didn’t push him to tell them what was wrong. His parents had been really supportive, even while Tommy was gone; Jax practically lived at the Fly residence. Sure, they missed their son, but they knew that Jax needed to be there, and he still did. Jax had been just as clingy to Tommy as Tommy was to him; it was truly like they needed each other to keep going in life. They depended on each other so much and it was really showing since they came back into each other’s lives. But how could he truly deal with it all if he couldn’t even be honest about his feelings to the one person that completed him? That answer was simple and it came in the form of a crazy blonde irish kid.

It was a relief to finally just let some emotion out, he had been holding it in for too long, and he knew he wasn’t even close to being done. He was grateful that Nate didn’t talk at first, he just let Jax get his cry out and held him. Jax needed that, someone to just hold him and let him grieve for a bit. After awhile, Jax was out of cries, he tried to hold as much back in case he woke Tommy. His throat was starting to ache and he feel himself grow a little tired from crying so much in such little time. He sniffled when Nate started to talk but he kept his arms around his best friend tightly, he wasn’t even close to letting him go. Nate was right, Jackson was broken, hell, he couldn’t help but feel broken all the time. He couldn’t even imagine how broken he would have been if Tommy never came back though. How the hell would he have went on?

He shook his head, not wanting to relive that conversation about what happened to Tommy, and he wasn’t even sure if Tommy would want anyone else to know. Jackson didn’t even think Tommy’s parents were aware of it. ”I don’t wanna say,” he said pulling away a little, but keeping Nate close, wiping his face a little. ”I don’t think I can say it outloud,” he shook his head, sadness in his eyes as he looked down. He stayed quiet for a second and just stared into space, ”They didn’t just take him and tie him up,” he said feeling the tears start to rise up again, but he held them back. He looked up at Nate finally and took a breath, ”why him? He wouldn’t even hurt a fly, Nate. Why him?” he looked at Nate sadly, really trying not to cry again but the water still built in his eyes. ”its hard not to break down around him, but I don’t want him to see me do that… its not fair,” he shook his head and closed his eyes for a second, trying to calm himself down.

TAGGED: nate
WORDS: 645
NOTES: (:

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