don't wake me up, jackson

[thomas adrian fly]

Tommy was slipping away. People were trying to hold onto him and keep him from slipping through their fingertips, but most of them were failing miserably. Granted, Tommy was trying to keep from slipping, but he was failing too. He was resorting to Halo and Call of Duty to keep him going. He laid in his bed all day every day. His mom made him food, unless Jax felt like getting up and making him food. Sometimes Jackson made him food when he felt like it. Most the time Mrs. Fly made the both of them food. Tommy stayed in bed and played video games all day... Or slept. Or just sat there listening to music. He wasn't on facebook, tumblr, twitter, or anything like that anymore. He figured people could get his information and so he'd deleted it all. No one could call or text him unless they were a contact. Tommy was disappearing from everybody. He was drifting away and it scared his mom. It scared his dad. He wasn't sure how Jackson felt about it. He knew Jackson was faking the smiles he put on for Tommy every day, but he wasn't sure whether Jackson was sad because Tommy was drifting or still upset over what had happened with the whole kidnapping thing.

Tommy was slightly curious as to whether Jackson had found his blog thing. Was that what was making Jackson sad? Tommy wasn't sure. He wanted to fix it though. He didn't care if he never, ever left his room again. He didn't care if none of his self confidence came back so long as Jackson was fixed and happy again. He wanted old Jackson back. He knew that Jax felt the same way towards Tommy but... Tommy just couldn't go back to being him. He was still the same person... Just paranoid, bitter, and terrified. He didn't want anything like that to ever happen again. He didn't trust people at all. Any time someone knocked on the door, Tommy clenched up and had small freak outs. Any time someone came in the house that he didn't know or know very well, he came very close to panic attacks. He didn't trust people to be nice anymore. Tommy trusted his parents, Fate's Eight, and Jackson. That was about it. He didn't trust very many people anymore. For now, he had his xbox controller in his hand and he was shooting it up on Call of Duty. He was expert in the game. He was fantastic in the game. Tommy loved Call of Duty.

Thomas Fly was also laying in his bed, with Jackson right next to him. He was right next to Jax, leaving no space between the two of them. Tommy never left space between the two of them, which seemed to be fine with Jackson. He blew up the head of another player from wherever the hell the other player was and he looked over at Jackson excitedly, "I'm boss at this game."



word count ;; 502 !
tagged ;; jackson madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; stand - rascal flatts !
notes ;; they're too cute !

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[jackson arthur madison]

Jackson’s days were starting to blend together, hell, he wasn’t even sure what today was, but he didn’t care either. All he cared about really was Tommy’s safety and making sure he had all he needed. He was practically living at Tommy’s place; he couldn’t even remember what sleeping in his own bed felt like. Even when he went home whenever his parents wanted him, he didn’t sleep there; he always went back to Tommy’s. He knew Tommy didn’t want to be away from him for too long and Jackson didn’t like having Tommy out of his sight, so it worked for both of them, mostly. It didn’t even really feel like a summer vacation, Jackson had forgotten it was even summer vacation until his brother asked him how his was going the previous night on the phone. He hadn’t seen Ian in a while, or much of anyone but fate’s eight, his parents, and tommy’s parents.

Jackson loved having his boyfriend back, even if this version of Tommy needed a lot more from him. It was hard sometimes though, trying to stay strong and not show how depressed he actually felt. It helped that Nate was around to comfort him, Jax wouldn’t have lasted this long if it wasn’t for his bestest friend, he didn’t know what he would have done without him. It just wasn’t easy for him, faking smiles and pretending like he didn’t come across Tommy’s blog which was the main reason Jax was even more depressed. He had accidently came across it one day when he was using Tommy’s computer while he was sleeping, reading each word broke him all over again. He hated that Tommy couldn’t tell him but he understood why he didn’t. How could those assholes do something so traumatic to someone so cute and innocent? How could they hurt and touch Jax’s baby like that? No wonder Tommy was so afraid of everything and everyone.

He couldn’t even finish reading the blog because he knew he’d only wake Tommy with his crying. He had been crying a lot lately, he felt like he was draining himself and you could probably tell from his eyes sometimes. He cried whenever he could, mostly because he had to hold it together a majority of the time because he was with Tommy. He didn’t want Tommy to know how sad he really was nor did he want Tommy to see him cry. It wasn’t fair to Tommy; the boy had been through more than enough. Jax wasn’t selfish with Tommy, he always put Tommy first, especially now.

Jackson sat beside Tommy on his bed while Tommy played Call of Duty for the millionth time. Jax usually got him away from the game, but this was one the times, he was okay with him playing. Jax was texting with Nate and playing his words with friends games on his phone. He smiled lightly at something Nate said in his reply as Tommy spoke, which made him look up. ”I know and you got good really fast.” He knew why Tommy liked to play Call of Duty and Jax was glad that Tommy had a way to let out that anger towards his kidnappers, sometimes even Jax joined him and did the same thing. He wasn’t really a video game person, but once in awhile he played.

He looked up at the television then at Tommy, watching him play with enjoyment on his face. ”babe?” he called out, Tommy hadn’t really wanted to leave his bedroom and Jax knew that couldn’t be healthy, he knew he had to start getting him out more. ”you love me, right?” he asked, being careful of how he brings the suggestion about. ”well, do you love me enough to get out of the house with me?” he asked biting his lip a little, hoping Tommy would be up for it. ”…please?” he added shortly after, ”I think we could both use the fresh air.” Jax loved Tommy but he couldn’t keep living like this, he was never one to really stay in one place for too long, but here he was in the same room everyday and it was starting to get to him. He felt guilty for feeling that way, but he did, plus, he wanted Tommy to start going out again.

TAGGED: tommy
WORDS: 722
NOTES: (:

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