little things, jackson madison

[thomas adrian fly]

Thomas Adrian Fly had gone through hell the past few days. First off, he'd been shoved in a light blue van while he was about to get in his car to go home. He'd been gagged, tied up, and blindfolded. Tommy didn't fight back. All he tried to do was scream because Tommy wouldn't ever hurt another person, no matter who it was or what they were doing. He was not physically capable of hurting someone, unless they were hurting his friends and family. Even then, he probably wouldn't be able to fight someone. Tommy always saw the best in people... Even if they were gagging, blindfolding, and tying him up. After what seemed like four million years in the car, he was thrown over somebody's shoulder and taken somewhere. He didn't see where. Then he was thrown and he'd heard a door shut. He'd been left alone and when he finally wriggled out of the knots on his wrists, he'd tried to text Jackson. He'd been able to reply back and forth for like three texts until he'd heard footsteps. Then Tommy had shoved his phone back in his pocket and wriggled back into the knots so that nobody would suspect what he'd done.

Of course they had found out. The man with basically a giant tattoo for a face had beat the living shit out of him. He was just bruised and was sporting a black eye. Tommy, obviously, had cried but the good news was Jackson was still looking for him. Everybody was looking for him, but most importantly, Jax was. Jackson was the reason he'd had any hope whatsoever. He'd been beat a few times over the course of the next couple of days, and they'd also smashed his phone. He didn't know what they wanted but he tried to just stay silent unless they talked to him. They kept constant guard on him but they were quiet around him. They rarely said anything unless it was to make fun of him. Tommy cried a lot. He was bruised. He was hurting and he just wanted Jackson. He wanted to throw up a lot of the time because he was so nervous and jumpy. He'd thrown up a few times and the people had just laughed at him some more. He just wanted to go home. He didn't like it here. The people stank worse than dog shit and he was stuck on a concrete floor. He couldn't see anything and he didn't have Jackson.

It was cold. It was always cold. He shivered silently and tried to keep his teeth from chattering. Hadn't these people heard of warmth? Tommy was so confused. Apparently his kidnappers wanted money? Why had they picked him up then? Why not one of the Runes? He wasn't rich. The Runes were rich. Bailey Tyler was rich. Why had they taken him? His parents weren't poor, but they weren't the people to get money from. The Flys were not the richest people ever. Sure they showed dogs, but that did not make them rich. If anything, that made their funds go down the whole. They lived extra comfortably but as said, they didn't have a shit ton of money. Tommyboo rubbed his bruised arms absentmindedly, trying to keep from moaning. He was so sore from all the beatings he had received. He just wanted Jax. He just wanted to go home and sleep on his own bed for ages. Tattoo face had shown him the news article on him missing. One of the theories, at first, was that he was a runaway. The kidnappers had laughed long and hard about that. He didn't want to hear it anymore. The laughter would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Would he ever see Jackson again? Would he ever get to see Nate, Dean, Zoey, Roxy, or his parents again? Would he ever see his puppies again? Would he ever get out of these clothes? He was filthy and he wanted a shower. The kidnappers had tried to take his hat away but he'd held on to that fiercely. It was the one thing that really connected him to Jax. He was wearing Jax's favorite puppy hat and there was no way in hell that he was going to let go of that. Right now, he was sitting in a corner, with his hands tied behind his back. His head was hanging, his throat was dry, and his stomach had basically forgotten what the feeling of hungry was. He'd gotten just enough water to survive but they hadn't fed him. Apparently if Tommy was malnourished, his family and friends would figure out how to pay them faster. Tommyboo was just scared that they wouldn't be able to pay up. He didn't want them to pay but at the same time, he just wanted to go back home and curl up in his bed with Jackson. He was terrified he'd never get to do that again.

Tommy didn't have the motivation to move. He could probably wriggle out of his ties but he didn't care to. There was no point. He couldn't text Jackson and he didn't have the strength to try to escape. He just pulled his knees tighter to his chest in an effort to conserve warmth. He rested his forehead on his knees and suddenly the door opened. The light hurt his eyes and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Get up, you useless little fucker. Your family finally paid for you. Let's go. We're gonna take care of you now." Fear shot through him. Were they gonna kill him now that they had their money? He tried his best to get to his feet but he didn't have the coordination or strength. Tommy had never felt so weak before in his entire life. Finally he was lifted and called 'a worthless pile of shit' again. He was put over tattoo face's shoulder and carried down the stairs and outside. The light was even more painful outside. Tommy couldn't even look around to see where he was. Damn, he was scared. They were going to "take care of him"? Did that mean kill him? He assumed so.

He was in tears again by the time they threw him in a car. He assumed it was the blue van but he didn't know because he couldn't even stand the light. It hurt Tommy's eyes too much. Were his eyes damaged or was it temporary? He wasn't quite sure. He didn't care if it was permanent so long as he saw Jackson again. He didn't care if he didn't see anyone else so long as he got to see Jackson, even if it was just for a goodbye. He needed his Jackson. It wasn't just a want anymore. Jackson was his reason for breathing anymore. The car went around turns sharply and finally it came to a stop. A sharp stop that made him hit his head. Tommy was still in tears and when the trunk opened, he could breathe again. Fresh air. He'd forgotten what that tasted and felt like. He was thrown hard in the street on his ass. The cloth that blindfolded him was taken off and his eyes squeezed shut again. Tommy didn't want to see the light right now, it hurt. One of the kidnappers whispered a thank you in his ear and that just made the crying worse. He was so scared. Where had they left him?

word count ;; 1,257 !
tagged ;; jackson madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; take me home album - one direction
notes ;; YAY HE'S BACK !

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[jackson arthur madison]

The last few days had been hell for Jackson and as each day went by, he felt even more lost and incomplete. The love of his life was taken and he didn’t know if he’d ever get to see him again. Just thinking about never seeing Tommy again practically killed him but Nate had made sure that Jax didn’t give up hope. He couldn’t. He had to have faith and stay strong for Tommy. He hadn’t left the Fly residence, hell; he had been practically living there since the kidnapping occurred. He wouldn’t leave even if his parents tried to make him; he wanted to know everything about what was going on and he wanted to be there when and if Tommy came back. It killed him to be in Tommy’s room without Tommy in it, but he still slept in his bed and held on tight to one of Tommy’s hats every night just praying that Tommy was going to be back the next day, but he never was.

And the issue of getting the money together for the people who had Tommy held captive wasn’t easy, especially because Tommy’s parents didn’t have enough money to pay off the kidnappers on their own. They wouldn’t ask for help, especially from teenagers, but Jax and the rest of Heaven’s Seven didn’t care. Tommy was their friend and without him, they were an incomplete bunch. Jax was doing everything he could to find Tommy, he didn’t care what he had to pawn or who he had to ask to borrow money; he was going to get his boyfriend back, damn it. Tommy was his everything, his entire world, and there was no way he was going to stand aside through all of this. .

The kidnappers were finally paid off and Jax could only hope that they would stay true their word and bring Tommy back to them in one piece. They never really gave a time of when the drop off would be, but Jax stayed alert. You could tell he wasn’t sleeping much either, he had a tired look in his eyes and he had small bags under his eyes. He found himself dosing off a few times, but as soon as his head fell, he would wake back up again. He didn’t want to fall asleep; he wanted to stay awake just in case Tommy came back. He knew Tommy’s parents would wake him up instantly, but still, Jax didn’t want to miss anything.

Jax sat at the kitchen counter looking down at a cup of coffee, he had never drank the stuff before, but it was helping with keeping him up. Tommy’s mom was still in bed and his dad was in the shower, so Jax sat there alone, just staring into space. He hadn’t even watched any television in what felt like a very long time, he just didn’t have the energy for anything. He didn’t even want to eat, but Tommy’s mom insisted sometimes, so he ate in obedience. He knew it wasn’t healthy to just stop eating and barely sleep, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted his boyfriend back, he needed his missing puzzle piece so that he could be complete again. He wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able to take, but so far, this summer had already been the worst ever.

Jax picked up his mug and took a sip, sighing a little as he placed the mug back down. He stood up and looked around, walking into Tommy’s living room. It still wasn’t easy being in there without Tommy beside him. Just looking around made him think about when they first started dating and had spent that entire weekend together, just them two. He looked at the top of the stairs, imagining Tommy dressed in his wolf pajamas walking down them slowly, but only staring at Jackson. Tears started to well up in Jax’s eyes as he thought about that memory; he could see it now, Tommy coming closer with each step. He closed his eyes as he thought about Tommy getting down on one knee and asking him to officially be his boyfriend. Almost instinctively, he reached up and took a hold of his necklace pendant, giving it a light squeeze. It was the necklace that Tommy had given him and he found himself touching it at least a million times a day the past few days, every single time he thought about him.

Before he knew he heard a vehicle’s tires screech against the gravel, which made him snap out of his trip down memory lane. He wiped his eyes as he heard doors open and close loudly, it sounded like it was right in front so he walked to the window to see what it was. He was too late to see the vehicle that had driven away, but his eyes landed on the boy standing on the pavement with his eyes closed. He could feel his heart skip a beat when he realized who was standing there, ”Tommy,” he whispered, really hoping he wasn’t just seeing things. ”Tommy,” he said again, he couldn’t even think right now, he just ran to the door, flung it open wide and ran towards Tommy. ”Tommy!” he called out as he got closer. He wanted to just hold him and never let go, but Tommy looked all banged up and Jax didn’t want to hurt him.

Jax didn’t know what to do with his hands, his eyes tried to take in all he could right now. He could feel his tears start to build up again, especially when he saw the black eye on Tommy’s face. What kind of sick bastard would do this to such a sweet defenseless boy? Jax tried to be careful as he wrapped his arms around Tommy, but all he wanted was for Tommy to be in his arms. ”I’m so glad you’re back, I’m never letting you out of my sight again, I swear,” he could feel tears slide down his cheeks. His boyfriend was finally in his presence and that’s all Jax wanted, he didn’t know what he would have done if he wouldn’t have seen Tommy again. ”I swear, I swear, I swear…. I love you so much,” he didn’t want to let him go, he didn’t even think he’d ever be able to let him go.

TAGGED: tommy
WORDS: 1070
NOTES: (:

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[thomas adrian fly]

Tommy was exhausted. He was physically and mentally worn out. He didn't know how much more he could take before he became a shell of his former self. Tommy had been through so much trauma over the last few days that he just didn't believe he could handle anymore. He was worn out. Tommy was pretty sure he was sick and unhealthy looking. Why had they picked him? What had he ever done to hurt anybody? Why did people hate people for no reason? Tommy went through his life and tried to figure out who he had hurt, what he had done wrong. Why had he deserved that treatment? What had he done to deserve being thrown in a van and beaten? Was it because of Andrew? He'd watched Andrew fall apart and hadn't even said a word about it. He didn't go out in the hall and explain to Andrew because he was too weak. Was this life's way of teaching him his lesson? Was karma getting him back? Tommy just didn't understand why they had to starve him, beat him, and keep him locked up. He wouldn't have tried anything. He wouldn't have tried escape and he wouldn't have tried to call the cops. Hell, Tommy had contacted Jax instead of the cops. That had to say something, right? Why had they beat him?

Tommy struggled to his feet, eyes still closed, hiding the light from himself. He was scared that he'd never be able to look into his boyfriend's eyes again. He was so terrified. Where had they dumped him? He was so confused. Tommy wanted to open his eyes but he didn't dare. He didn't want to feel the searing pain that came along with it. Plus, he wouldn't get any more information anyways. He was swaying back and forth, trying to stay on his feet. He was just so weak. Was someone going to help him, or had they dumped him in the middle of nowhere? He hoped that they had kept their word but he doubted it. People like them didn't keep their word. Tommy guaranteed that they had left him somewhere far away from civilization to die off. He was shaking and he wanted to break down in tears. He just wanted to go home. Home was all he was asking for. They'd gotten their money, why couldn't he have his life back? Why couldn't he have his boyfriend back? He almost crumpled right there but he knew if he crumpled, there was a big chance he'd never get back up again. He had a little bit of hope. He wasn't quite ready to give up. Jackson was still looking for him and he needed to stay strong for him. He put his chin up, eyes still closed and squared off his shoulders. Tommy still swayed back and forth, uneasy on his feet. He wasn’t strong enough to stay here forever, but he couldn’t take a step. He’d fall if he did.

Suddenly he heard his name being called by a voice he could never forget but he was pretty sure he was imagining it. Jackson couldn’t possibly be here. They’d ditched him somewhere. He felt Jackson’s warm arms around him and he couldn’t stop himself from crumpling against him. All strength left Tommy behind. He couldn’t hold himself up anymore. His voice cracked on his boyfriend’s name, ”Jackson.” Tears rolled out of his eyes, even if they were squeezed shut. His head was nestled into Jackson's neck. He wrapped his arms weakly around his boyfriend. Tommy didn't have the strength to hug him as tight as he used to, but he hugged as tight as his arms would let him. "Don't let me go. Please don't ever let me go." His voice was cracking. He couldn't ever leave Jackson's side again. He just could not ever do it again. "Please just hold me. Please just hold me forever and ever." Tommy wasn't using any of his leftover strength to hold himself up. Jackson was doing that. Jax was the only reason Tommy was still standing. "Jax, it was so scary. So fucking scary. They kept beating me and I didn't think they'd take me home. They promised they wouldn't until you guys paid up and they wanted so much. No food. They figured you guys would pay up faster if they starved me. Jax, I was so scared. So so scared." Tommy was sobbing. He couldn't stand even talking about tattoo face, scar face, and scary face. He didn't want to think about them. "The light hurts my eyes. I don't know what's going on... I hope it's not permanent."

word count ;; 781 !
tagged ;; jackson madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; take me home album - one direction !
notes ;; WOO !

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[jackson arthur madison]

Jackson couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen his parents, the days had turned into weeks, and he just couldn’t really even attempt to keep track anymore. He didn’t care what day it was, hell, he was even missing school just to stay with Tommy’s parents. His parents understood why he was away and where he was, even if they didn’t agree with him skipping school. They tried to be as supportive as always, but Jax knew that it was getting more difficult for them to be, especially since Jax was looking weaker and breaking more as the days went on. He felt bad, but he couldn’t help it. He had grown way too dependent on Tommy, even if he didn’t realize how much he really was until now. Sure, he knew that Tommy meant the world to him, but never did he think how incomplete he’d feel at even the thought or scare of possibly losing the other boy forever.

But now, Tommy was finally in his presence, whether or not this was real Jax wasn’t sure, but it felt real. Tommy was obviously just as out of it and in pain, his bruises looked bad, and it only made Jax feel worse because he wasn’t there to protect his boyfriend. ”I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you,” he whimpered a little, still holding onto Tommy. Hearing Tommy say his name only made him hold him tighter, he was trying not to squeeze him too much, but he almost couldn’t help himself. He had been praying for this moment so much the last few days. He wasn’t going to let it slip through his fingers, even if it was some dream. He could tell that they didn’t let Tommy shower, but that didn’t stop Tommy from his usual aura. That sweet smell that always calmed Jackson, god, did he miss this boy. Every piece of him.

”I won’t… ever… I’ll be handcuffed to you forever if you want, I won’t let anyone take you away from me again,” he said seriously still holding Tommy as close as possible. Hearing Tommy’s familiar and gentle voice again only made him feel even better; he had waited so long to hear that voice again. Jackson had even replayed old voicemails and watched old videos on his phone of Tommy just to hear it again, but nothing would compare to the real thing, ever. He could feel how weak Tommy must have felt as the boy was in his arms and it only ached his heart even more, he knew his boyfriend had probably gone through so much the past few days and he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to repair that traumatic damage.

”I know baby,” he ran his fingers through Tommy’s hair as he remained holding him, ”You’re home, now…. You’re safe,” he said in a gentle tone, kissing the side of Tommy’s head. ”You’re safe… you’re with me,” he whispered seriously meaning when he mentioned earlier that he wouldn’t let Tommy leave his side ever again. He was going to protect his boyfriend with all that he could, no matter what. ”You were probably in the dark for too long, come on, baby, let’s get you out of the sunlight,” he frowned as he pulled away, putting his hand on Tommy’s forehead to block the sunlight from reaching his eyelids in a protective manner. ”come on, keep them closed and just let me lead you back into your house,” he said as he used his other hand to take Tommy’s hand and lead him towards his home. ”Your parents are inside, just follow my voice… and careful, the steps are about to come up,” he said.

TAGGED: tommy
WORDS: 622
NOTES: (:

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[thomas adrian fly]

Tommy was glad to be back. He was glad that he was being held by his favorite person in the whole world. He was happier now that he had Jackson back. Jackson was the most important thing to him and there was nothing he could do to change that... Even if he wanted to. He didn't want to though. Jackson could stay on his pedestal where Tommy liked him. Just being in Jax's warm arms and leaning into him made him feel safe. He felt like he couldn't be touched so long as Jackson was holding him. Tommy would never get hurt again so long as Jax held him. That's how he felt. Jackson was now his safety line. Jackson equaled safety and happiness. Tommy wouldn't ever go more than three feet away, guaranteed. "You're here now. That's all that matters. You're protecting me now. Nobody knew or expected people to take off with me. I'm still not sure why they picked me." The tightness of Jackson's hold only comforted Tommy more. He leaned into Jackson even more so. The tighter the hold, the better it felt. He had missed Jackson and he wanted the hug to last forever. He never wanted to let go of Jax and he wasn't going to. "Handcuffs are uncomfortable. I don't want you tied to me either. I don't want anything around my wrists ever again. I just don't want to ever be away from you. Not ever." He pulled away for just a second, and showed the indents in his wrists from how tightly they had tied his wrists together. In some spots, it had broken skin and there was dried blood there.

Tommy did not stay away from Jackson. Right now he wanted their bodies to be as close as possible. The warmth was so comforting, especially since he'd been so cold over the last few days. Those three kidnappers did not know the meaning of warm and Jackson was the warmest thing Tommy had come to as of recently. He was gravitating toward it. Jackson was basically his own personal sunshine right now. He grabbed tighter to Jackson, making a fist with Jackson's shirt in it. He was trying to hold himself together. The mere memory of that cold, dark room and those three men brought him back to tears. Tommy started sobbing into Jackson's shirt uncontrollably. He had been terrified and now that he could relax, he was letting all that fear out. He'd tried to be strong while he was missing but now he didn't have to be strong. He could fall apart and know that Jackson would be there to catch him. Sure, it'd probably hurt Jackson to see him like this, but Tommy needed it right now. It was definitely going to be part of the healing process. Tommy's voice cracked again as he replied, "I only feel somewhat safe because of you. Thanks for letting me borrow your warmth. I love you Jackson. I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you. Just don't ever leave me by myself. Please please please don't ever leave me by myself. It's too scary."

The touch of Jackson's hand on his forehead immediately calmed him, which was good, because he had been close to hyperventilating. He wanted to lean into his boyfriend. He didn't want to walk. He was afraid he'd fall but he trusted Jackson to keep him on his feet. Tommy trusted Jackson with his life. That was all there was to it. "Let's do, please." He grabbed tight to his boyfriend's hand, relying on it. His steps were slow and hesitant. He didn't trust his strength right now and he had every reason not to. He figured they were about halfway across his yard when he stumbled from the weakness in his muscles. He grabbed Jax's arm tightly and dragged himself back up to standing. How long was it going to take to get his strength back? They finally reached the stairs and he was very hesitant, slow, and untrusting of his own feet. He'd never not trusted his own strength but now he had to rely on Jackson. He used Jackson's shoulder to hoist himself up the two small steps. When they finally made it in the house, Tommy could open his eyes because he could tell the light was off. Were his parents sleeping? He looked around the familiar house and when his eyes landed on Jackson, he just wanted to crumple. He had missed that beautiful face so much. He leaned into his boyfriend and just rested. He was exhausted from the extremely short walk across his yard. He rested against Jackson and said, "I missed you so much. You're mine for the whole summer. I'm not leaving your sight, not ever. The outside is scary by myself. In fact, by myself in general is terrifying. Never again. Nuh uh. I'm staying with you forever. You're the only thing that makes me feel safe."

Jackson's warmth just made Tommy feel safe. Even in his own house, he didn't feel safe unless he was touching Jackson. Just a small part of Jackson's skin touching his skin calmed him. He knew that Jackson was going to be the only thing that could calm him. He also knew there were going to be a few panic attacks and lots of nightmares in the coming weeks. Only Jackson would be able to calm him then. Nobody else would be able to fix it. Jackson was his cure.

word count ;; 929 !
tagged ;; jackson madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; take me home album - one direction !
notes ;; WOO !

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[jackson arthur madison]

Jackson didn’t want to leave this moment right here, he wanted to just hold Tommy in his arms forever and protect him from all the bad things in the world. He hated that Tommy even had to go through that and where was Jackson? Nowhere. He hated himself for not being there, but Tommy was right, he was there now and he was never going to let something like that happen to Tommy again. He knew what had happened was out of his control and was unexpected, but now he knew he had to be more cautious and protective over his boyfriend. ”I don’t know either, baby,” he whispered his response as the two boys only held each other more closer, both obviously needing this moment right now. The comfort of having this boy back in his arms was way more powerful than Jackson remembered, maybe it was because he had lost him for such a long time and his body was starting to have Tommy withdrawals, he wasn’t sure. Either way, he wasn’t letting go.

Jackson nodded, understanding, slipping away a little as Tommy showed him his wrist. His expression only softened more as he saw the damage done to his boyfriends wrist, he lifted Tommy’s hands up gently and kissed each wrist gently. He looked up at Tommy, ache in his own eyes, ”you won’t ever be away from me again, I promise,” he said seriously. Instantly, he wrapped his arms around Tommy again, letting go of the boys wrist so that he could just hold him in his arms again protectively. He felt Tommy grab a hold of his shirt tighter, knowing exactly what he was feeling, he had only felt that hold once before and that was when he though Jackson was going to leave him after that Andrew kid serenaded him in front of the entire Glee club. But Jackson wasn’t going anywhere, not then, not now, not ever, he was Tommy’s forever.

He closed his eyes as he felt Tommy start to cry uncontrollably into his shirt, he hated seeing his boyfriend so broken and scared, but he knew Tommy probably needed to let it out. Jackson could feel his own tears start to well up in his eyes, but he didn’t let them fall, he tried his best to hold them back. He wanted to just be there for Tommy, not the other way around, he took a breath so he wouldn’t start balling himself as he rubbed his boyfriends back gently. ”It’s okay,” he said in his gentle tone and glad to hear that he felt at least a little safer because of him. ”I love you too… with all my heart, forever and ever remember?” he said pulling away and looking at Tommy, wiping his face gently with the sleeve of his own shirt for him. ”I’m not going to leave you… I can’t risk losing you again, ever…and I don’t want you to be scared. Your fluffy tomato pet will protect you from all else that is evil,” he nodded, trying to maybe get some sort of smile from Tommy.

He knew things were still extremely fresh, but he didn’t want Tommy in tears, it hurt him too much, even though he knew Tommy needed it right now. Jackson led Tommy slowly back towards his house. Tommy was still having trouble moving parts of his body but that’s what Jax was there for, to help him in any way he needed, to nurse his boyfriend back to health. He could feel how much of his own strength he had to share with Tommy in order to keep him up and tried his best to use it so Tommy wouldn’t fall. They had gotten to the steps, ”Okay, steps are here,” he said as he helped Tommy up the two steps and into the house, closing the door behind them. He slowly retrieved his hands back as he watched Tommy open his eyes and look around the room. Wow, Tommy was standing right there in the Fly residence’s house again, this was real alright and Jax couldn’t help but feel so much better to be looking at his boyfriend right now, even if he was weak and hurt, he was just glad to have him back.

Jax let Tommy get used to where he was and the lighting before attacking him with his arms again, he didn’t want to overwhelm him with his own need to have Tommy in his arms. Tommy finally locked eyes with him and he smiled weakly as Tommy leaned into him and Jackson put an arm around him, ”come on, let’s sit you down, you shouldn’t be standing right now,” he said leading him towards the couch, but keeping his arm around Tommy. He helped sit him down slowly and brought him close, using his other hand to touch Tommy’s rubbing his thumb gently on the top of Tommy’s hand. ”I missed you too….a lot…I’ve actually been staying here since you left…I couldn’t not be here in case you came back…me and the boys practically made your parents let us help with the ransom too” he said frowning and kissed Tommy’s cheek. ”I’m yours for the summer and more, you know that… I’m even going to make sure we have all the same classes when the school year starts,” he said with a nod. He smiled a little when Tommy said that he was the only thing that made him feel safe, ”Good, because you are safe with me, I’ll be your own personal super hero.”

He wanted Tommy better already, but he knew it’d take time, and Jax was going to do anything he could to help him gain his strength back. ”Tommy… I know they…. Hurt you… but did they… touch you like… you know?” he asked, a little worried, ”sexually?” he asked a little nervously. He didn’t think they did, but you never knew, Jax had to ask though. He heard a noise in one of the rooms; he had almost forgot Tommy’s parents were in the house. ”Your dad just got out of the shower… and your mom’s sleeping,” his eyes widened, ”I should wake your mom, huh?” he looked at Tommy. He knew if he was sleeping when Tommy came home, he’d want her to wake him up.

TAGGED: tommy
WORDS: 1,057
NOTES: (:

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[thomas adrian fly]

Thomas Adrian Fly didn't think he'd ever be able to be alone again. He would refuse to sleep alone and he'd refuse to drive to school alone. Hell, he probably wouldn't leave his bedroom without someone making him or being with him. Jackson Madison would probably be the first to get him out of his bedroom once he got in there. He just wanted to curl up on his bed with Jackson and never, ever have to leave the room or the bed for that matter. His mom could feed him breakfast in bed, right? He doubted that she'd be opposed, especially since recent events. "I just don't understand. What did I do? Did they get me because I hurt Andrew?" Tommy's voice cracked and he refrained from crying. He didn't want to cry right now. Crying was a bad idea especially in front of Jackson. He knew it would hurt Jax if he cried. Tommy didn't want to let go of his boyfriend, and fuck everybody who thought he was. Nobody would pry him off Jackson ever again, not even his parents now. Nobody. Tommy was going to basically chain himself to his boyfriend because Jackson was the only thing that made him feel safe.

As Jackson kissed his wrists, he flinched a little. They were still sore and somewhat painful. Jackson's lips soothed the pain but at the same time sharpened it. It made him more aware of just how much they had hurt him. The words that left Jackson's mouth soothed Tommy just a bit but he felt like his body couldn't be close enough to Jackson's. Even though they were squeezing each other, Tommy felt like they weren't close enough. "Are you saying that you're basically moving in with me?" He gave somewhat of a half smile that Jax couldn't see but he'd be able to feel in his shoulder. Tommy buried his face in Jax's neck and kissed it lightly, trying to forget that he had been kidnapped. He was trying to forget those three horrible faces and he was trying to forget that they'd roughed him up before returning him. He was trying to forget the trauma but he didn't know if he ever would. He felt so insecure with himself now. Would Tommy ever function properly in society again? Maybe if Jackson was with him twenty four/seven. Otherwise, he doubted it. He'd lost a lot of confidence and he didn't know if that would ever heal.

Thomas felt bad for crying. He knew it was hurting Jackson but he had to let it out. He needed someone to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. Tommy needed Jax to be able to deal with it for now. The rubbing on his back made him feel better and he could feel Jax take a breath. Immediately he choked back his sobbing so that Jackson wouldn't start crying. Tommy could cry later when Jackson was sleeping. "It will be okay. It's not right now." Tommy had never felt so insecure or sad in his entire life. Not ever. Not when he got lost in the mall or when his parents left him at the beach. His time being kept captive had probably changed his personality slightly forever. They'd definitely tweaked the way he looked at people. Tommy definitely wasn't going to trust people now. "Of course I remember. How do you think I had any hope at all? Forever and ever babe." The tears that were on his face were wiped away gently by Jackson's sleeve but he didn't want Jax to pull away. "I know you'll protect me, fluffy tomato pet. You always have. You've always made me feel safe but now you're my lifeline. I can't go without you. I'll probably make you drive me to school and walk me everywhere and sleep in my bed with me. You're probably never going to leave my presence." He frowned and leaned gently into his boyfriend.

The house was hard to adjust to, especially since he still couldn't believe that he was safe at home. He was with Jackson and he was happy about it but he still felt like he was dreaming. He rubbed absentmindedly at his wrists that were still sore. Eventually Tommy would have to put some kind of antibiotics on the cuts in his wrists so that they wouldn't get infected. Tommy followed Jackson quietly to the couch and sat down, painfully. He basically curled up in a ball next to his boyfriend and the rubbing on his hand soothed him. "How much did they want? Why did they steal me if they wanted money? Why not one of the Runes? Or the Tylers? Or someone who's rich? I'm not rich. I don't have money. Why me?" He leaned into his boyfriend, trying to not panic. Just the mere thought of those awful men made him breathe heavily and made him want to panic. He knew the nightmares for the coming few weeks were gonna be god awful. "Good. I'll need you. Especially at night. Nightmares are gonna be scary unless you're holding me." It was true. No one else would be able to soothe him. Just Jackson. He weakly crawled into Jackson's lap. He wasn't going anywhere. "I like super heroes. You're already my own personal super hero."

Tommy pecked Jackson's cheek with his lip. He felt like if he gave Jackson all his attention, he could just make everything that happened to him disappear. They couldn't touch him as long as he was in Jackson's arms. Nothing could go wrong if he was with Jackson. Tommy froze at Jackson's question. He went rigid. His brain was blocking him. Did they touch him? Did they do anything to him? As soon as he started remembering, that yes they had, he went even more rigid and then curled up against Jax. He didn't want to talk about it but he knew Jax needed the information. "Yeah... They invited a girl... And..." He choked up. He couldn't finish but he was sure Jax would be able to figure out the rest. It was the grossest memory ever and he hoped that he would eventually be able to black it out. Tommy didn't want to remember that shit. "No I don't want them fussing over me right now. I just want you to fuss over me and hold me and love me for now. They can see me when they come down or whatever. For now I just want you to hold me." Tommy clung to Jackson and before his boyfriend could reply, he was kissing him fiercely. God, he'd missed that.

word count ;; 1,119 !
tagged ;; jackson madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; take me home album - one direction !
notes ;; WOO !

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[jackson arthur madison]

Jackson would be with Tommy for as long as he needed and whenever he needed. Tommy was his everything and losing him for as long as he did, definitely showed him how much more important Tommy was to him and how dependent he had become on the boy. He felt like he was missing a piece of him without Tommy around, especially when he didn’t even know where his boyfriend was. It scared the shit out of him and he was surprised he didn’t lose his mind in the process, but thanks to their group of best friends, he made it through as best as he could. He didn’t know what he would have done if he had lost Tommy for good, he didn’t really want to think about it either; he knew he’d never be the same though. Hell, he’d probably resemble a zombie and just not speak or do anything, and that was saying a lot if you knew how energetic and goofy Jax was on a regular basis.

Jackson looked at him in concern and shock, shaking his head lightly, ”Baby… you didn’t do anything… and what happened with Andrew… wasn’t your fault… this isn’t karma coming back for you,” he said hating the fact that Tommy would even think that. ”Sometimes…people just do bad things… they don’t need a concrete reason to… they probably thought you were an easy target or something… I don’t know…” he sighed, ”but please, don’t think its because of what happened with Andrew…” Jackson didn’t like when Tommy referred to that incident as him being a bad person, it really wasn’t Tommy’s fault for any of it. It was just a big misunderstanding and though Tommy wasn’t used to that sort of situation, Jax knew he had to be the one to reassure him that he wasn’t a bad person for rejecting the boy. If anyone could understand the feeling, it was Jax, he had gone through the same type of thing with Kayley when she kissed him.

Jackson kept Tommy in his arms, unable to even flinch to attempt to let the boy go. Tommy was going to stay in his grasp for as long as he could allow it. Jackson smiled a little, even if Tommy couldn’t see it right now, ”I can’t move in with you… but I’ll be around a lot more than before… my parents are going to want me around too, babe.” He didn’t really want to be apart from Tommy, not ever again, but he had to think about the reality of it all. ”You’re welcome to stay at my place too okay?” he said hoping that was enough, ”but for the first few weeks, I’m staying here as long as your parents will let me… I really don’t want to leave you alone with anyone but me,” he frowned and held Tommy tighter, meaning it. He trusted his friends and Tommy’s parents, but still, Jax felt like it was his job to properly protect his boyfriend.

It made Jax’s heart leap a bit when Tommy said he was the reason why Tommy had any hope at all in the first place. It reminded him when he first broke down and Nate was there to try to pick him back up again, Nate had talked him into never giving up and told him that he had to keep fighting for Tommy, and that he had to have hope because Tommy would have it too. He smiled lightly at Tommy’s words and nodded, really hoping he would be just what Tommy needed through all of this. Either way, he was going to try and do his very best, he wanted Tommy to feel safe again. ”Well lucky for us, I had a great driving instructor and I have this summer to take my driving test,” he grinned and kissed Tommy’s cheek, ”I’m up to never leave your side, plus, its hard to sleep without you in my arms anyways,” he frowned as he thought of the past few nights since Tommy had been missing. Jackson had tossed and turned, hell, you could probably still see the variety of movement marks in Tommy’s bed.

As Tommy curled up again his own body, Jax could already feel himself feel more complete. Tommy always fit so perfectly in Jax’s arms, it was like Tommy was meant for him, hell, he believed that Tommy was. Most people didn’t find the love of their life so early in life, but Jax was sure he found his. ”I don’t know… you’re mom wouldn’t tell us, we just kept giving her stuff until she told us she had enough,” he said with a sigh. He shrugged a little, ”I don’t know… maybe they knew they’d still get the money even if you weren’t” he really wasn’t comfortable with talking about the kidnappers, but he knew it had to be talked about, especially now. ”I’ll be there, babe,” he said as he held Tommy closer and kissed his forehead, ”I won’t let you go,” he said with a nod.

Tommy crawled into his lap which brought back several memories, Tommy always did that when he wanted to feel closer to Jax and truthfully, Jax loved it when he did that. Tommy had a way of making Jax feel so loved and adored, he made him so comfortable with feeling the exact same way in return. He still couldn’t believe how in love they were with each other, he felt like they had been dating for years already. He smiled lightly with a nod, ”I am,” he would be Tommy’s personal super hero any day of the week. Tommy pecked his cheek and that definitely made his cheek start to get warm, yes, something as simple as a kiss from Tommy could have such an effect on him, always did.

Jackson was worried of Tommy’s possible answer to his question, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for the answer if it was something he didn’t want to hear. The seconds Tommy took before he responded felt like minutes, which only scared Jackson more. He felt Tommy’s body tense up and the boy curled into Jax even more which pretty much answered his question without even a hint of vocal response. Jackson could feel his stomach start to grow ill, he wanted to just hurl right then and there. He didn’t feel any puke coming up but his stomach just couldn’t handle the reality of this right now. As soon as Tommy started, Jax looked away, trying to process the information, and when Tommy trailed off, he didn’t even have to ask what happened after the girl was invited. He was glad Tommy didn’t say it, but it still didn’t make him feel any worse.

Someone else had touched Tommy, touched him in a way that only Jax had before. Someone had touched his precious boyfriend and had not only abused him aggressively, but sexually. Jax wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to handle this, he could feel himself start to shake and to be honest, he wanted to just start crying right then and there. But this wasn’t about him and he knew it, Tommy choking up definitely reminded Jax that this wasn’t the time for him to lose it, he was going to have to save that for later when Tommy was sleeping or when he was away from him. He probably needed Nate for that or his own pillow; he just didn’t want Tommy to see that. Tommy was going through enough right now, he shouldn’t have to worry about comforting Jax. Jax had to stay strong, at least for now, it was getting harder as the moments went by but he knew he had to keep it together. He was going to do it though, for Tommy, Tommy needed him right now. He didn’t need a broken boyfriend, he needed his superhero and that’s exactly what Jax was going to give him right now.

Jax finally looked back up at Tommy after taking a few moments to himself, hoping Tommy wouldn’t pay much mind to it and would just understand Jax’s position in it all. He nodded lightly and held Tommy closer, about to say something, but before he could, Tommy kissed him. It was the first time they had kissed on the lips since the last time they saw each other and boy, did Jax miss those soft familiar lips. Those lips that fit so perfectly with his from the mouth of the person he loved so fucking much. He returned the kiss just as deeply, letting it go on for a bit, before pulling away slowly, but keeping their forehead together. ”I don’t want to ever let you go…. I’m afraid I won’t be able to share you with anyone ever again…” he said kissing Tommy again, his lips really did miss Tommy’s.

TAGGED: tommy
WORDS: 1,488
NOTES: (:

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[thomas adrian fly]

Tommy was just glad to be back with Jackson. He was glad to be home and he was glad he could be in his boyfriend's arms again. Jax's arms kept Tommy from completely breaking down. Jackson Arthur Madison made Thomas Adrian Fly feel safe. Tommy depended on his boyfriend and he would never want to give Jackson up for some other boy. Tommy was perfectly happy with the boy he had now and he loved Jackson. He was very much in love with Jackson and he didn't see that ever changing. He'd found his one and only. Hell he fit perfectly in Jax's arms and though he'd never held Jax, he knew that it'd probably be the same the other way around. Tommy might be dependent on Jackson but Jackson was just as dependent on Tommy. Thomas could see it in Jackson's eyes, and he'd witnessed the sheer anger Jackson had had when Andrew had serenaded him in Glee Club. Tommy couldn't even look Andrew in the eye anymore even though he knew Andrew had moved on to someone else. Anyways, both Jackson and Tommy were very dependent on each other and if Jackson wasn't in Tommy's life, he'd probably be an even more broken boy. Tommy was broken right now but he already felt safer with Jackson. He knew he would be able to heal with Jackson's help. Question was, if Tommy hadn't returned at all, who would've helped Jackson heal? Tommy, if he ever did die, never wanted Jackson to turn into a zombie. He'd want Jax to move on and find a way to be happy, with or without Tommy.

Tommy couldn't help but think karma was trying to get him. What had he done to deserve a rape and beatings? He saw Jax shake his head and he frowned. Tommy had to have done something wrong in order to deserve this. He was racking his brains trying to figure out what it was. Tommy looked into his boyfriend's eyes as he processed what Jax was saying to him... So good people had bad stuff done to them all the time, for no reason? How the hell was that fair? "It's not? Then why do I feel like I did something to deserve what I got? Why did it happen?" Tommy's voice shook on the questions. He was at a loss for words. Why did this happen to good people? Tommy didn't understand. He was just so confused by everything and he was starting to question everything he had thought before. Should he trust people still? Should he give everybody the benefit of doubt? Was everybody a good person deep down? He was having his doubts. Those people that had hurt him weren't good people. He hadn't seen any good in them. "Jax, I thought everybody was a good person, deep down. I thought everyone had some good in them, somewhere. I didn't see it with them. I just saw evil and hatred in them. Now I'm doubting that I should trust everybody to do good so long as I'm good to them... Should I trust anybody at all that I don't know? I'm obviously going to trust you... But what about people I don't know? What if they're just as horrible all the way around? Do I take that risk? I'm so confused." His voice shook and his confidence wavered. What was he to do now?

Tommy didn't ever want Jax to let him go. He just wanted to stay in Jackson's arms for eternity. It was where he belonged anyways. The closer they were together, the better he felt. Jackson's warmth kept him sane and kept him from sobbing uncontrollably. He was in a lot better shape than he would've been if Jackson wasn't holding him. He felt bad for not going up to his parents and letting them let go of their panic but he just didn't have the strength to walk up the stairs. He didn't have the energy. If his parents wanted to see him, they'd have to come down, or Jackson would have to carry him up. Tommy had lost a lot of his muscle and energy levels while there because of starvation and dehydration. Tommy knew that Jax was smiling just by the way his boyfriend was talking. Tommy was finally able to tease just a little bit, "Pfft, they don't need you. They've got another son. I think they should just forget that you live there. Maybe we should hypnotize them into thinking you live here." Tommy was smiling for Jackson, but only Jackson. If he had been in anybody else's arms, he'd be sobbing. Jackson always knew just how to make him feel better and he knew that Jax would be the only one to keep the nightmares and the panic attacks that he sure would hit him. "I can't handle being alone with anyone but you right now, anyways. Maybe we'll just take turns at each other's houses. You can sleep here for the first week, then I'll go to your house for the second week, and so on and so forth. Then both sets of parents get us, and we get to be together still. 'Cause I need you and I don't think I can handle not having you around 24/7."

Tommy felt Jackson squeeze tighter and even though his sore muscles protested it, Tommy welcomed the feeling. It made him feel safe. His head rested against Jackson's chest weakly. The sound of Jackson's heartbeat made Tommy feel just so much better. Actually, everything about Jackson made Tommy feel better. Jackson was the only reason Tommy had never given up hope. Jackson was the reason that Tommy never even considered giving up and just letting himself die in there. Jackson was the reason Tommy had had any happy memories that kept him going, while stuck in that cold dark room. "I'm not that great at teaching. You're just a natural driver, except when I'm distracting you." Tommy smiled. As each minute ticked away, Tommy was more willing to smile and be happy. He had Jackson and that was all that mattered, right? Jackson kissed him on the cheek and Tommy felt his cheeks go warm and turn red. How he had missed that. He loved Jackson's kisses and he was glad that he could have that unlimited supply of them again. For a while, he wasn't so sure he'd even get just one before he died but now he was with Jackson again, and he was sure Jax wouldn't be opposed to giving them to Tommy freely. "You didn't sleep much while I was gone, did you? I didn't sleep at all. It was too damn cold and uncomfortable. I wish you had slept though. It's unhealthy not to sleep and I can't have my boyfriend getting sick on me." Tommy frowned unhappily. Of course he would worry about Jackson getting sick rather than the fact that he was probably very unhealthy looking. Tommy was just so selfless that he never thought about himself.

Tommy always felt more complete when he was curled up against Jackson. It was like fitting two halves to a whole and he didn't think that feeling would ever change. Jackson Arthur Madison was Thomas Adrian Fly's other half, no doubt about it. Tommy didn't only believe that Jackson was the one, he knew it. He didn't see himself with anybody else. He saw him and Jackson as old people, in the same retirement home, Tommy sitting on Jackson's lap, while Jackson wheeled them both around the place. Tommy didn't see himself getting old with anybody else. He didn't see anybody more attractive than Jackson. Hell, not even Chace Crawford made Tommy squirm anymore. Jackson was the only one that Tommy held any attraction for now. He didn't even have his celebrity crushes anymore. Tommy frowned unhappily and replied, "She should've known you guys would help her whether she wanted your help or not, especially you. I don't know why she thought any different. Do you still have your DJ equipment?" Tommy frowned at Jackson's next words. What if they hadn't been able to get enough money? Where would Tommy be now? He'd probably be dead or still being beaten and raped over and over. He breathed deeply, feeling a panic attack coming on. No panic attacks now. He had to stay calm for Jackson's sake. "What if you guys hadn't been able to come up with the money? What then? They should've chosen someone who had more money." Tommy could feel the bitterness in his body and it was a foreign feeling. Tommy Fly was never bitter because he didn't let himself. He didn't think that feeling existed within himself but apparently it did. It was an alien emotion and he didn't like it, but he couldn't help but welcome it. He had every right to be bitter, right?

Tommy didn't know how there was still space between them. They kept getting closer and closer. As Jackson's lips connected with Tommy's forehead, he felt warmth again. He felt safe but he also felt tears coming back. He'd missed this so much and he didn't know if he'd be able to handle losing it for any period of time again. Tommy swallowed back the tears and replied in a shaky voice, "I know you will, baby. I know you'll be there. I just wish I didn't want you there to keep the nightmares away. I just wish I wanted you there because you belong there... And you do, but for right now, I'm just scared of the nightmares." Tears came to his eyes. He didn't know how to handle this side of himself. It was a big battle of emotions inside him and he'd never had to do that before. There was bitterness, anger, sadness, terror, happiness, and a thirst for revenge all bottled up in one Tommy. He didn't know how to let those things out without scaring Jackson. Tommy loved Jackson's lap and it was the only way he could feel like he was totally close to his boyfriend. It made him feel the most secure and it made him feel like he'd never have to leave, that they'd never have to be apart. Tommy felt like they had been dating for years and years, even though it hadn't been that long. Their love only got stronger every single day. They only got closer with each passing day and now that Tommy was back, they weren't ever going to be apart. Tommy was going to go wherever Jackson went and Jackson was going to stay with Tommy. Tommy had officially chained himself to his boyfriend for the rest of eternity. "Only for forever."

Tommy didn't want to remember the rape. He didn't want to remember the girl's ugly face and most of all, he didn't want to remember that somebody other than Jackson had got that part of him. He didn't like that the girl had taken that special part of his soul through force while three men had laughed it all up. It made him feel so unclean and he didn't know what to do with that. He didn't know how to cleanse the dirt. The very thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach and he just wanted to throw up. There was nothing in his stomach to upchuck, so if he wasn't careful, there would be dry heaving. Tommy knew that the information would hurt Jax but it hurt Tommy more. He'd shared his body with someone other than Jackson and he'd never ever wanted to do that. He hadn't wanted anybody other than Jackson to have his body in that way. He'd never meant to share that with anyone other than Jackson Arthur Madison. His body was reserved for Jax, and Jax only. Tommy saw Jackson look away and it made him hurt worse. He understood but the fact that everything was hurting Jax made him not want to talk about any of it. He couldn't stand seeing Jackson in so much pain... And he knew Jackson felt the same way about seeing himself in pain, but he couldn't help it. He'd gone through so much. If Tommy just stopped sharing what had happened, then maybe Jackson would be better? But Jackson had asked, and Tommy wasn't inclined to lie to his boyfriend. Better to let it all out so that they could heal all his issues. If he didn't bring everything up front, Tommy would never heal properly.

Tommy knew that Jackson was barely holding himself together. He could feel the tremors going through his boyfriend's body and he just wanted to hold Jackson instead of the other way around. He wrapped his arms around Jackson's neck, not needing to say anything. He knew Jackson was breaking, just as Tommy was. They were both holding it together for each other's sake. Maybe it'd be better if they both just broke down and cried it out for a while? Maybe they both just needed to break. Tommy didn't know if he could handle watching Jackson break and he knew Jackson couldn't really handle seeing Tommy break anymore than he already had. It was important that they hold it together. Both would probably break when one had fallen asleep first. If Tommy fell asleep first, then Jackson would break while Tommy slept. If Jackson fell asleep, Tommy was going to cry himself out while Jax slept in peace. Tommy needed to cry himself out but now that he could see the pain in Jackson's eyes, he refused. Tommy didn't want to see Jackson break, so Jackson wasn't going to see him break. Tommy was shaky but he readjusted so that he could hold Jackson's hands in his own. He looked into Jackson's soft brown eyes and said, "It's going to be okay eventually. We have each other now." Tommy could only hope that the words would help Jackson. He knew they would both break eventually, and he knew that Jax would probably cry himself out when Tommy fell asleep, he just hoped that Jax would hold him while he slept. It was Tommy's only plan against the nightmares. He was terrified to sleep because he knew nightmares would plague him.

Tommy finally got Jackson's attention returned to him. He understood where Jackson was coming from, but it didn't mean that it hurt any less. He didn't want Jackson to be hurting. It wasn't like Tommy had shared himself willingly or happily. It had been a bad experience and to top it all off, it had hurt like hell. He never wanted someone to touch him like that ever again. Jackson was always soft and gentle with him but she had been rough and abusive. It had hurt and he never wanted to go through that ever again. If anything, Tommy would have preferred three full on beatings to that. They must have known that and used it against him. Tommy's lips against Jackson's made him forget everything but how much he loved his boyfriend. Those familiar, soft lips, made him so happy and he was so glad that he got to have them back to himself. He just wanted to kiss them forever. He didn't need oxygen, did he? Tommy panicked for a moment as Jackson pulled away but then realized Jackson was just saying something. Tommy smiled a real smile for the first time in days and replied, "You don't have to let me go, babe, and you definitely don't have to share me, that's for sure. You've got my heart until the day we die." When Jackson went to kiss him again, Tommy met him halfway. He'd missed Jackson and they had a few days to make up for... Plus, somehow they had to get all off their chest. If kissing was what helped, Tommy was down to do it. His fingers wrapped themselves in Jackson's hair and time lost all meaning. He had Jackson and that was all that mattered to him.



word count ;; 2,689 !
tagged ;; jackson madison !
wearing ;; click !
muse ;; take me home album - one direction !
notes ;; O.O Lots of Tommy muse apparently !

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[jackson arthur madison]

It had felt like forever not having Tommy around, the world seemed off and odd when he was missing. Almost as if, it was well aware that one of its prized possessions was missing and in the arms of horrible people. Jax wasn’t sure if it was just him not paying attention to the world or if it was just his own world that felt like it was falling apart. He had been lost and incomplete without his boyfriend around. The moment he was able to wrap his arms around Tommy and confirm that what was occurring was real, he felt an extremely heavy weight lift off of his shoulders. His baby was back in his arms and Jax was going to make sure that nothing bad would ever happen to him again. He was going to be his protector, his body guard, his superhero, hell, if anyone wanted to get to tommy, they’d have to get through him first.

”I don’t know… sometimes… bad things… just happen to good people,” he frowned, wishing he could explain it, but really he couldn’t. Tommy was such a good, loving and sweet person, he still couldn’t even believe someone could do something so horrible to him. ”Some people are just really sick in the head…they don’t care who they hurt…” he said sadly, wishing that this wouldn’t have happened to Tommy. Why couldn’t they take someone else instead? Hell, Jax would even give himself up in Tommy’s place if he could. He just didn’t want Tommy to live with this trauma all on his own, tommy didn’t deserve it, no one did.

He held Tommy as the boy spoke in confusion about trusting people in the world, it saddened him to see someone that always saw the good in people have that outlook on life be shattered within days. ”Not everyone is a good person, baby… sometimes you can see it, sometimes you can’t…. the world can be cruel sometimes,” he sighed and kissed Tommy’s shoulder. ”I wish you didn’t have to go through that, you didn’t deserve that,” he said holding Tommy closer, even though they were as close as can be. He felt like he couldn’t hold him close enough, he just wanted to hold him forever and protect his boyfriend from all the bad things in the world.

Jax couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at Tommy’s words, ”if you can figure out a way to hypnotize them, I won’t be opposed to the idea.” it was nice to see tommy’s adorable smile again, he didn’t think he’d see it again for awhile, but he was glad that Tommy was smiling for him. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get those out of him, but it made him feel better that he could make his boyfriend smile. He thought about Tommy’s idea of them switching houses they slept over each week and nodded, ”that actually sounds like a pretty legit plan, let’s do it” he smiled lightly. ”I wouldn’t be able to handle you being away from me either,” he said as he looked at Tommy with yearn, ”I told you I’m not letting you leave my sight again.”

”You are a great teacher, again, you never let me compliment you. my brother tried to teach me how to drive once, it went horribly. I ended up walking out of the car because he wouldn’t stop being a backseat driver,” he chuckled at the memory, ”but thanks, I know I’ll get my license in no time,” he nodded. It was true; Tommy had been the perfect teacher for him. He was patient and he didn’t yell at him if he did something accidently wrong. Jax loved his brother, but driving just wasn’t something he was going to ask for help about again. Jax looked at Tommy and shook his head, ”No, I haven’t… I couldn’t sleep knowing you weren’t safe, it was too hard,” he shrugged, ”I wasn’t really worried about my health babe, I just wanted you back.” It was true, hell, Jax wasn’t even eating regularly, it took his own parents or Tommy’s parents to get him to eat. He didn’t really care for his own health through the entire thing; he just cared about getting Tommy back.

You could always see how much Tommy and Jax needed one another, physically and emotionally. They weren’t the same when they were apart and whenever they were together, you could just see it in the way they looked at one another and held each other. What they had between them wasn’t just love, it was true love. The kind of love that you only come across once and if you’re smart enough, you won’t screw it up. Jax nodded as Tommy spoke about his mother knowing that the boys would help and shrugged, ”I know… well at least she ended up letting us, right?” He looked away when Tommy asked about his DJ equipment, when it came to the most important things in Jax’s life, Tommy was first and his DJ equipment was second. All of his friends knew how passionate he was about producing and mixing music, he had done it almost every day ever since he got the right equipment. ”….no….” he finally replied and looked at Tommy.

Tommy started to freak out over the possibility of them not getting the money together in time and as much as the thought had come across Jax’s mind when Tommy was still kidnapped, he didn’t want to think about that. ”The important thing is that we did… and you know damn well that I wouldn’t have let that possibility happen… none of us would… I’d sell myself if it meant getting you back,” he said seriously. He would have never given up on Tommy or raising the money to get him back, he would stop at nothing. ”There is no ‘what if’, you were going to come back to us… to me…” he said feeling emotional again, but he overpowered the sadness quickly with the simple fact that it was all over and Tommy was in his lap.

”I know… well look at this way… I’ll be there… because I belong there and to protect you from the nightmares,” he nodded and bit his lip as he saw tears start to form in Tommy’s eyes. He hated seeing his boyfriend so broken and not being able to fix it so instantly. It already pained him that he couldn’t get the image of someone else touching his boyfriend sexually; he knew it would only haunt him after this. He wasn’t even sure when either of them would be able to touch each other in that way again. Tommy would probably be too traumatized and Jax would just have the vision of someone else forcing themselves onto Tommy. Jax had to stay strong and try his best not to think about that right now, he had to be there for Tommy and just hold him.

It wasn’t easy though, so many feelings were going through Jax’s body and he had never felt so many things at once, it was a little scary. He wasn’t sure if he was going to hold it together much longer, but the fact that Tommy was in his arms, definitely made him try harder not to break down himself. Tommy wrapped his arms around Jax’s neck which Jax knew was because Tommy could feel Jax freaking out inside. He was thankful that Tommy didn’t say anything and just wrapped his arms around him in comfort. Jax’s chin rested on Tommy’s shoulder for a bit as he tried to calm himself down, closing his eyes and taking a few breathes. He could not and would not break down right now, this wasn’t about him. Tommy pulled away and held Jax’s hands. Jax looked back at him, trying his hardest not to let the tears forcing themselves out of his eyelids break out. He wasn’t going to cry, not in front of Tommy, not now.

Jax nodded and gave Tommy’s hand a light squeeze, ”I’m the one that’s supposed to tell you that its going to be okay….not the other way around,” his voice cracked a little at the end and a few tears escaped, sliding down his cheeks. He let go of one of Tommy’s hands so that he could wipe his own face, ”Sorry, ignore that,” he said taking one big breathe, annoyed at himself for letting tears fall in the first place. ”You’re right, we do have each other now,” he nodded, all of this was starting to get overwhelming for him, but he was doing pretty good at keeping it together. He knew if he was alone or with Nate, he’d probably just lose complete control and just break down. He wasn’t looking forward to that point, but he knew it would happen sooner or later.

Jackson smiled lightly as their forehead remained pressed together; he didn’t even have to reply to Tommy’s response, he was more than happy to hear that he had this boy’s heart forever. The two kissed and you could tell that too much time had passed between them because it was hard for either to pull away. Jax missed this feeling of sharing something so intimate with the person he was madly in love with. He hated that he had to pull away again, but he knew he couldn’t be selfish with his own needs. He kept their foreheads close still though, ”You should get some rest, baby… you know when your parents come out and when the rest of Heaven’s Seven find out your back, they’re going to attack you with love and hugs… you should get some sleep,” he said seriously.

TAGGED: tommy
WORDS: 1,627
NOTES: (:

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