Post by xanna on Jan 9, 2012 3:46:28 GMT -5
ROXANNA CHRISTINE OLIVER
seventeen, junior, bi-curious, macabre, anomalous, scout t.compton
[/size][/justify]In the matter of simple pondering, how does one truly obtain the definition of who they are? Is it their past that grants a balance of strengths and weaknesses? What if the person allows those frequently in their life to influence the construction of their antics? What if, in a very strange way, who they think they are is just a mirrored image of the things they hear and see? Finding the answer to any of this is most certainly not impossible, but the lengths anyone would be forced to go to stand as a sign of absolute difficulty.
While she may know the meaning of her name, she doesn't let the eerie tale behind her first one define every aspect of who she is. She sees the title scribbled across her birth certificate as just a meaningless swing of letters usually, given how many other souls populate the world we call our own. But with her personal opinions aside, a name can also be an ironically tricky thing at times...
A name can stand for numerous things; hope for one, fear for another, rage for the rest unacknowledged, etc. But most importantly, a shield can easily disguise itself into a name filled with intimidation.
I ask for you to think, fellow Harry Potter fans, of a specific character in that series. How originally, his name held nothing honestly significant to its structure, no matter how dreadfully awful the boy could be. It was a dull and ordinary name, but Tom Marvolo Riddle found that rearranging the letters could act as a key to a frightening power. Of course, it wasn't the name that gave him the infamous gossip that sent unnerving shivers down the spines of most wizards.
It was his merciless and unforgiving actions.
By twisting around his birth given name, the boy had the chance to recreate himself as something new and promising. He had the opportunity to play a part he desired to take on for quite some time, immoral or not. It is this exact fact that makes everything you are currently reading relevant, for the connection I'm making will help you understand Roxanna's character a bit more...
Or, so I am really hoping.
Her past has never been an excruciatingly painful one and because it hasn't, it cannot be blamed for the way she presents herself today. Albeit her lifestyle is certainly not for anybody with a weak mind or heart, particular impacts have targeted Roxanna's thoughts over time. There have been theories of guilt when it comes to her condition, mentally and physically; while others now, simply wave it off as silly and unwanted nonsense. As long as she continues with the talents she developed throughout her childhood, her secret desire to prevail in life is something she keeps to herself.
Every morning when Xanna stares at her reflection in a mirror, she sees various parts of herself have been smudged away as if they never existed to begin with. This occurs when doubt or a feeling similar refuses to exit the spotlight in her mind, causing her to wish something about her isn't there. Like for example, there are days when she loathes herself for creating misery and having to watch it all unfold; naturally, resulting with Roxanna wishing she didn't have the ability to see. Or maybe, telling a lie that crushes hearts and dreams may cause her to believe her face doesn't possess a mouth until she's confident she can use it again. No matter the day or how content Xanna may be, there is always something missing in her point of view. Always.
However, only she knows what really goes through her mind in this category. She willingly taught herself to hide any form of vulnerability from the watchful eyes of all people; to wear a mask through any rough patches that may end up coming her way. She has been accused of being an emotionless actress more than she's probably blinked in her life, but to Xanna, it just means that she is doing something right for herself.
Unfortunately, Roxanna isn't sure who she is anymore. She has no issue recognizing that reflection in the mirror (whether it is missing something or not) , but she has the tendency of believing bits in pieces of her core have been lost and forgotten in the past. She is capable of stripping herself down and rebuilding herself back up to whatever state she needs to be in, in order to fit the mask containing the part she wishes to play at that time. She has an incredibly sly and crafty nature about her and manipulating others is an art she can preform magnificently well, and her cold core refuses to interfere with any of this.
Regardless, Roxanna could be seen as a mystery that will take quite a while to solve completely. There is no telling if one will be pleased with what they find after piecing everything together, though. Because she is, nevertheless...
Merely human.
hey should've tried harder admin! my name is river and i've been doing this stuff for 4 or 5 years. i also play no one. before i go, look at what i can do!
With everything Violetta had experienced, a sudden and unfamiliar voice didn't entirely send paranoia scorching down her spine like some sort of wildfire. Her tolerance with unnerving fear was nearly impeccable these days, and considering that she lived in the supernaturally active town of Cambria, this was definitely a wondrous plus. From where she sat in a casual sitting position, Letta untangled her legs from their Indian style and fell in reverse flat onto her back. The book she'd been reading was still more or less in her lap, but her attention for the text continuing on for many more pages seemed to be lacking horribly by this point.
Upon taking in his features, she narrowed her light blue eyes to calculate the exact size of the late night cemetery stranger. Although her eyes had an enhanced sense (one that allowed a slayer to spot her opponents a little better in the dark), her vision was not as astonishing as a vampire's was. They narrowed in unwelcoming curiosity, but the words that left her lips weren't as icy as her expression may have looked to the man. "I'd surely bow, but I wasn't aware that my shining moment was being witnessed by an audience of one," began Violetta, her head tilting gently to the side as if in a silent, innocent question. Her eyes blinked once before she continued and again after she finished saying, "Nevertheless, I value the satisfaction you apparently have currently. I'm pleased to have brightened your day, even if only slightly." Her dialect was always on the more formal side, but she figured that was solely because her first language had been Italian.
"And I've let you ask it, however I do really think I reserve the right to refuse putting an end to your evening curiosity...wouldn't you agree?" Went on Letta, raising her hand up toward the male standing close by, clearly awaiting a handshake of greeting. "Don't you have a name, darling? And before you go sniffing about wondering why I'm lurking in a cemetery, perhaps you should answer your same question for me. You don't look disappointed, so I'm assuming being stood up is absolutely out of the question?" A rather small, but mysterious half-smile graced her red lips in an attempt to make the man feel a bit more comfortable. No, she wasn't completely positive of his species, but he'd managed to behave this far.
Just in case, Letta had a few weapons to ensure her safety if things got ugly. Something told her she wasn't in any real danger, though.
Upon taking in his features, she narrowed her light blue eyes to calculate the exact size of the late night cemetery stranger. Although her eyes had an enhanced sense (one that allowed a slayer to spot her opponents a little better in the dark), her vision was not as astonishing as a vampire's was. They narrowed in unwelcoming curiosity, but the words that left her lips weren't as icy as her expression may have looked to the man. "I'd surely bow, but I wasn't aware that my shining moment was being witnessed by an audience of one," began Violetta, her head tilting gently to the side as if in a silent, innocent question. Her eyes blinked once before she continued and again after she finished saying, "Nevertheless, I value the satisfaction you apparently have currently. I'm pleased to have brightened your day, even if only slightly." Her dialect was always on the more formal side, but she figured that was solely because her first language had been Italian.
"And I've let you ask it, however I do really think I reserve the right to refuse putting an end to your evening curiosity...wouldn't you agree?" Went on Letta, raising her hand up toward the male standing close by, clearly awaiting a handshake of greeting. "Don't you have a name, darling? And before you go sniffing about wondering why I'm lurking in a cemetery, perhaps you should answer your same question for me. You don't look disappointed, so I'm assuming being stood up is absolutely out of the question?" A rather small, but mysterious half-smile graced her red lips in an attempt to make the man feel a bit more comfortable. No, she wasn't completely positive of his species, but he'd managed to behave this far.
Just in case, Letta had a few weapons to ensure her safety if things got ugly. Something told her she wasn't in any real danger, though.